[soft, funky music]
♪ So I have taken everything that I think I know ♪
[girl screams]
[Mom] 'Katie!'
[Dad] 'Was it her?'
[Teenage Girl] 'She's in my head.'
'I can hear her talking to me.'
[Mom] 'I told you there was a reason
'this house was so cheap to rent.'
- [Dad] 'But it's safe.' - [Mom] 'Safe?'
'Do you hear the sounds that are
'coming from this house?'
'Daddy, she was singing to me again.'
[doorbell rings]
- [Dad] 'Don't answer it.' - [Mom] 'Ben, I told you.'
[Dad] 'You were right, okay?'
[Mom] 'I dreamed I was surrounded by clowns.'
[Teenage Girl] 'Me too!'
[Mom] 'I had a nightmare you were a snake, Ben.'
[Teenage Girl] 'Mommy, the woman!'
[Young Girl screaming] 'Daddy!
'She's in my room!'
[Dad] 'Katie!'
[Teenage Girl] 'Dad!'
[Young Girl] 'I want my books!'
[Mom] 'Forget the books, we'll get them later.'
[Dad] 'What are you doing?'
[Teenage Girl] 'She shut the door!'
[Dad] 'Leave everything.'
[frenzied chattering]
[Dad] You coming?
[Mom] 'Downstairs. Now!'
[Teenage Girl] 'Sammy, hold my hand.'
- [screaming] - [ghostly wail]
[Dad] 'Go, go, go!
'Run! Run!
'Get in the car!'
[Teen] 'What about the truck, Dad?'
[Dad] 'Forget the truck!'
[car starts up]
[Teen] That was awesome!
[car peels out and drives off]
♪ But I have chosen that this is the way I want to live ♪
[Adam] 'Hey, this is Adam.
'I can't answer your call, uh,
'so go ahead and leave a message.
'Or text me.
'Or call or text Emily because like everything else,
'she's better at responding to this stuff than I am.
'Sorry. Bye.'
[machine beeps]
Hey, man.
How's it going?
Haven't seen you in awhile.
Um, listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favor.
It turns out my neighbors are the cockroach kings
of Cincinnati and my landlord is fumigating the building,
so I was wondering if I could crash on your couch tonight,
maybe a few nights?
I've got a job to do, uh,
so, you know, I'll be coming in late and leaving early.
You won't even know I'm there.
Uh...
Thanks, and it'd be really cool to see you, too,
and catch up.
Talk to you later.
All right, bye.
Hello?
[disembodied breathing]
Hello?
[door creaks, slams shut]
Hey, Neal.
[Neal] Jack.
Yeah, I know this is one of our furnished units,
but uh, how furnished is it supposed to be?
[Neal] I dunno.
Um, dining table, some chairs in the living room?
Why are you whispering?
[Neal] Because I got the boys down for their nap.
[Jack whispers] Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, no, they, they left a bunch of their shit here.
There's a bunch of books.
There's shoes.
There's a red truck.
[Neal] Huh.
I can't really, I can't really do my job until
the movers come and get this stuff out of here.
[Neal] Sure you can.
Yeah. Well, can you at least get me a list
of what's ours and what's theirs?
[Neal] Why are you whispering?
[Jack stops whispering] Right, right.
Sorry. You're right, I don't...
[Neal] Just do your diagnostic, and oh,
like I said, we haven't been able
to keep anyone in that house.
Okay.
[Neal] So while you're waiting for the movers,
can you just check it out and see if you can figure out
why everyone breaks their lease and leaves it?
- Sure. - Okay.
- Okay, you got this.
All right, talk to you soon.
Good luck.
[Jack sighs]
[♪ WUSSY: "Yellow Cotton Dress"]
♪ The yellow cotton dress
♪ Is beautiful, no doubt
♪ But it becomes a motherfucker
♪ When you fill it out
[upbeat indie rock music]
♪ The pillow on your side
♪ Is practically brand new
♪ But it can't offer comfort to me
♪ Until it smells of you
♪ You're everywhere
Doop-doop-doop.
♪ You're everywhere
Okay, number one.
♪ The silverware you used
- ♪ Is on the table still - Light...works! Fan...works!
♪ Someone else will have to move it
♪ Because I never will
♪ You're everywhere
Checking the fuse box.
♪ You're everywhere
[bench creaking]
♪ You're everywhere
[upbeat indie rock music]
[door creaks]
♪ You're everywhere
♪ Yellow cotton dress
♪ Is beautiful, no doubt
♪ But it becomes a motherfucker
♪ When you fill it out
Hey Adam.
I never heard back from you.
Still could really use a place to stay.
If you could just let me know one way or the other,
that'd be great. [dog barks]
Say hi to Emily.
Uh, who's Emily?
Bye.
[dog barking]
[shed door creaks]
[birds chirping]
Note to self: fix shed.
[Jack belches]
[soft guitar strumming]
[tense, dramatic music]
♪ The yellow cotton dress
♪ Is beautiful, no doubt
♪ But it becomes a motherfucker
♪ When you fill it out
[soft guitar music]
[disembodied breath]
[tense, dramatic music]
♪ The pillow on your side
♪ Is practically brand new
♪ But it can't offer comfort to me
♪ Until smells of you
♪ You're everywhere
♪ Everywhere
[tense, dramatic music]
♪ The silverware you used
♪ Is on the table still [ghost harmonizes]
♪ But someone else will have to move it
♪ Because I never will
[soft guitar music]
♪ You're everywhere
[soft guitar music]
♪ The yellow cotton dress
♪ Is beautiful, no doubt
♪ But it looks like a motherfucker
♪ When you fill it out
[Ghost harmonizes again]
[gargling]
[spits]
[clock ticking]
[tense, strange music] [metronome clicking]
[Guitar strings ping off key]
[A thump. Wood creaking.]
[Clatter from behind]
[banging]
[soft crying] [scraping]
[loud clicking]
[door handle rattling]
[more quiet weeping]
[bang on door] [loud sobs]
[alarm buzzing]
Oh, what the fuck?
[alarm buzzing]
[birds chirping]
[Susan] That actually worked. Thanks, Jack.
Yeah, no problem. Glad I could help.
Oh, hey, before you run, can I ask you for a favor?
Would it be cool if I slept on your couch?
[Susan] Can't you just crash there?
Uh, I'm really not supposed to.
And there isn't a couch.
[Susan] Who doesn't have a couch?
These people apparently.
[Susan] Well, aren't there beds?
Yeah, but they're other people's beds.
[Susan] So just pretend it's a hotel.
Do you know the shit they find in hotel beds?
[Susan] Ugh, I don't know, Jack.
Listen, I've got to go.
Thanks again for your help.
If I can ever help you, just let me know. Bye.
I literally just asked you.
You have a guest room.
I helped you put the bed together.
[sighs]
He said to the phone.
Oh, god, I hate people.
That's not true. I don't hate people.
[in a funny voice] Oh, you look like you need a hug, Jack.
Not from a toilet, I don't.
You sure about that?
Not since high school.
Well, I'm always here for you.
I appreciate that, Toilet.
Well yeah, you know.
People don't treat me so nice either, but they need me.
They sure do.
There you go, buddy.
Goodbye. [as Toilet]
[Jack sighs]
Oh, this is so much stuff.
All these boxes and things that need to be put into boxes.
This is not my job.
[sucks teeth]
What am I gonna do?
I need to plot.
Doop-doop-doop.
[disembodied giggling]
[Muriel] Doop-doop-doop.
Hey Neal, this is Jack, uh,
I am done with my preliminary diagnostics
but I can't really do anything further
until the movers come and get all these people's stuff,
so uh, in the meantime, I've just been doing
some light cleaning but I am running out of light cleaning,
so uh, just let me know what's up.
All right.
Bye.
[upbeat, rhythmic music]
♪ Our exponential pace
Why did they leave everything?
What made 'em go?
[Muriel] Nothing good.
Right?
Wait, what?
[Music cuts out]
Hello?
[Muriel] Why are you here?
To fix the house.
[Muriel] This house is not broken.
Okay.
[Muriel] I like your singing.
Thank you?
[Muriel] You should do it elsewhere.
[Music returns abruptly]
♪ All our days run together
Hello?
♪ There's nothing to set them apart
♪ We volunteered our headaches for our hearts ♪
I'm hungry.
♪ And when we wake in weeds entangled
♪ When you were young, I bet you were a punk kid
Hello, pizza!
Yeah, pizza.
Fantastic!
Whoa.
You look just like Phil Romeo.
Okay? Is that somebody famous?
Oh no.
He was this guy that I was friends with in high school, or,
well no actually, I guess I wasn't friends
with him in high school.
He was a little bit, uh, too popular for me then.
I was friends with him in the elementary...
It doesn't matter.
Anyway, he would have been about 30 right now
and you're not 30.
30-year-olds don't deliver pizza.
[Man] Yeah I...
Delivering pizza's a young man's game.
[Man] I am 30.
Fuck.
I uh...
Thanks.
♪ I bet you made your mama cry
♪ Siding the cross, rippin' her off
♪ Cutting her down to size
♪ She's a good one with a bad son
♪ Wondering why you always made her cry, honey ♪
[doorbell rings]
♪ Uh uh oh
♪ How's that workin' out for ya
Hey I'm...
...sorry.
♪ Stay stuck on all your bad luck ♪
♪ Oh honey you're a fuck up
♪ Uh uh oh
♪ You're bad news, darlin' [door bell rings]
Ahhh!
♪ Hangin' on your own damn way
♪ You're not an innocent man
[upbeat rock music]
[disembodied breath and singing]
[disembodied giggle]
[upbeat rock music]
♪ I'm feelin' bad for how you do, yeah
♪ I'm feelin' bad for how you do
♪ 'Cause somewhere along the line
♪ Somebody gave it to you
♪ On the right side of the wrong side
♪ No matter how you do
- No. - ♪ I feel for you
♪ I feel for you
[tense, dramatic music]
Nope.
[tense, dramatic music]
Nope.
No.
[tense, dramatic music] [ticking]
I ordered a pizza.
[game pieces clatter]
[Jack sighs]
[Jack grunts]
[Jack groans]
Oh...
I am done with today.
[tense, dramatic music] [metronome clicking]
[door slams] [Jack gasps]
[tense, dramatic music]
[door knob squeaks]
[tense, dramatic music]
Greetings.
May I offer you a spirit?
Sure.
[soft, old-timey music]
Um...
This is embarrassing, but who are you?
An interesting question.
I've been a clown, a large spider,
a massive encroaching tidal wave as endless as the sky.
Tonight, I am you.
Huh.
Maybe that's a two drink question.
[soft, old-timey music]
So uh, what was it like being a tidal wave?
It's difficult to describe the sensation,
but I think it's fair to say.....wet.
- So why were you a clown? - Some people fear clowns.
Some people fear failure.
I never really understood why anybody feared clowns.
Because I mean, it's just a person with makeup on
and bright clothing and stuff, but they're not a monster.
They're just a person with person problems...
You have no one.
No one thinks of you.
No one cares for you.
No one misses you.
You blame your suffering on others,
but the fault is your own.
Fuck you!
Why are you doing this?
You don't know m...
Well, it doesn't seem right to say you don't know me.
I mean if anyone knows, actually, this is good.
Let's fix this.
No one calls back, no one has a couch,
no one fucking reciprocates.
You do all this stuff to just be a normal functioning
- human for other people... - You need to go.
And nobody cares.
I mean, not that I'm entitled to their caring
because everybody's got their own shit, it's just,
it would be nice to be appreciated sometimes, you know?
[screaming]
[Jack grumbling]
[Jack sighs]
[Jack groans]
[ticking]
[Neal] Hi, this is Neal Rhodes
with Rhodes Property Management.
I can't come to my phone right now,
but please leave a message and I will return
your call as soon as possible.
Thanks for calling. [line beeps]
Yeah, hey Neal, uh, this is Jack.
Just wondering when you think the movers
are going to be coming or uh, anything at all.
All right. Thanks.
[toilet flushes]
[tense, dramatic music]
Hello?
[tense, dramatic music]
[doorbell rings]
I got you this time!
Fuck.
[baby crying]
[tense, dramatic music] [baby crying]
[babies crying]
[maniacal laughing]
Stop, so just stop.
Nope.
There's no baby here.
I know there's no baby here.
I'm just freaking myself out.
This is stupid.
Just make it stop, just stop, just stop.
Stop!
[panting]
Good.
Better.
[rock music]
♪ I bet you were a punk kid when you were young
♪ Flashing your cut, tearin' shit up
♪ I'll bet you were a punk
♪ 'Cause
[Music stops]
[ticking]
♪ 'Cause it takes one to know one
♪ Prodigal son, yeah, I bet you were a punk ♪
[rock music]
[Music is stopped]
[disembodied breathing]
[soft, old-timey music]
[disembodied giggle]
[soft, old-timey music]
[rock music]
♪ How's that workin' out for ya
♪ Who's comin' around for ya
♪ Stay stuck on all your bad luck
[Electricity pulsing]
[doorbell ringing] [baby crying]
[A cacophony]
[Noise stops abruptly]
[tense, dramatic music]
[screaming]
[tense, dramatic music]
Jesus Christ!
[tense, dramatic music]
Keys, keys, keys!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
All right, okay.
Okay, fuck you ghost.
Fuck you.
[tense, dramatic music]
I don't know what the fuck you are,
but knock it the fuck off!
Some of us have work to do.
[cabinet door creaks]
Nope.
[cabinet door creaks]
Nope.
[cabinet door creaks]
No...
Thanks.
[Ghostly breath]
[Cabinet shutting]
- [baby crying] - No.
Nope.
[tense, dramatic music]
[typewriters clacking] [people chattering]
[Ms Henry] Finished already, Muriel?
I do believe that is a new record for you.
Oh, did you ever file your time card from that last case?
- There is a concern. - With your time card?
No, with my case.
And that would be?
This one is not afraid.
Well, you just started.
It's a little bit early to make that call.
I have been doing this long enough to know
he was afraid for a moment, and now he is not.
Well, maybe you can try that radio thing
that I showed you.
I've tried it already.
He simply corrects it and carries on.
You already?
That's a power move, not an opener.
Have you forgotten how to structure a haunting?
I have not forgotten.
Perhaps you're just tired.
I mean, you have been in that house for a long time.
It is my house.
Well yes, because we gave it to you.
It did not call for me?
Well, it didn't not call for you.
It had been empty for a long time, but none of this matters.
[sighs]
The house is your house, and what you've done with it,
no one else could have done with it.
Your success rate is beyond reproach.
I mean, you're on the wall.
I'm on the wall?
You really haven't been in the office much, have you?
The Legacy Wall.
It's a good thing.
But of course we still have the problem
of this current case.
Perhaps we can bring someone in to help you.
What? No thank you.
Oh, no. Hear me out.
We have a new agent.
She's a young woman named Rosie
and she has had tremendous success
with some of our most troublesome cases.
She kind of reminds me a little of you
when you first came to us.
She could learn so much from you,
and I bet you could learn a thing or two from her.
I shall return to my house now.
Thank you.
[Ms. Henry] All right.
I'll give Rosie a call and see if we can get her right over.
Oh, and don't forget about your time card.
[Neal] Hey Jack. Finished already?
Um, no.
[Neal] Oh, okay.
Um, what's up?
Uh, have you ever seen anything that you can't explain?
[Neal] I have two infant sons, Jack.
I see shit I can't explain all the time.
I think I know why people keep leaving your house.
[Neal] Oh yeah? Why is that?
It's haunted.
[Neal sighs]
[Neal] I don't have time for this, Jack.
No, I'm serious. There's a ghost here.
It's a lady ghost. Fine, there's a ghost.
Do your job and get rid of it.
Is, is that my job?
[Neal] If you're calling me about it, yes, it is your job.
I gotta say, you're really taking
this ghost thing in stride.
[Neal] Well, yeah.
I don't believe you, but I'm too tired
to try to figure out what you're not telling me,
so sure, there's a ghost.
Fix it.
[tense music]
So you're a ghost?
Can you not talk?
You made that noise earlier.
Is that all you can do?
Nothing? All right.
[Jack hums, sings to himself]
'Cause ghost don't wash dishes 'cause they're dead.
[humming]
I am not a ghost.
Okay. What do you call yourself?
They call us spectral agents.
[chuckles] Yeah no, no one calls you that.
You're a ghost.
Spectral agents.
Why are you not afraid?
Because you're not real.
I am real.
Agree to disagree.
[humming]
What are you doing?
I don't know!
I'm cleaning up the other people's shit
so that other people can move in their shit into this house.
You are the one who brings the people.
No, I make the places ready for them.
We are enemies.
What? No.
What? That's silly.
You make it so the people come.
I am the one who sends them away.
This puts us at cross purposes, thus, we are enemies.
Okay, I see your reasoning,
but I'm not enemies with a ghost.
Spectral agent.
[soft, ponderous yet plucky music]
Yeah, you're a ghost.
I am talking to a real ghost.
You're here.
Baaoh, this is weird.
[Jack Shudders]
Okay.
Well, so if you're here, I have a lot of questions.
How does one become a ghost?
Did you die young?
Can you walk through walls?
Will it feel like a breath of fresh air if I touch you?
So, what all ghost powers do you have?
So does this mean there is a God?
[grunts]
Does it hurt to be a ghost?
Do ghosts even feel anything?
Does it actually bother you guys
when we speak ill of the dead?
Or are you paying attention to us all?
You have better things going on in..heaven?
Hell?
None?
Hm.
Or is God a lady?
I don't know. This is a lot.
You talk now.
[Muriel] I did not die here.
Oh, okay. Yeah, we can start there.
Where did you die?
Far from here.
Okay. Sure.
How did you die?
I do not like remembering that.
That makes sense.
So how did you get here?
I no longer remember.
You don't like talking very much, do you?
I...
Don't know.
I have not spoken to someone at length in a very long time.
Oh.
Oh, I didn't realize.
No, I just didn't realize.
Wait, not to get off of you, but just real quick,
what about the God thing?
I don't know.
If there is one, I have not met Him or Her.
Okay, just curious.
You want to sit down? You want a beer?
Can ghosts have beer?
No, I cannot drink.
Woof.
Point in being alive's corner.
Ugh, who do they make these for?
Probably adults.
[Jack sighs]
Wait, so, if you didn't die here,
do you know why you're here?
I thought that this house was destined for me.
They said that it called for me,
that it had been waiting all of these years
for me to make it complete.
I know now this was a lie.
They said it was for me, but it was for them.
Huh, that's kind of like this movie I saw once.
There was this guy who couldn't remember anything,
then there was this other guy who wanted some people dead,
so he used the guy who couldn't remember anything
by making him think that he was the one
that wanted them dead for revenge.
I dunno, it's a little complicated,
but it's a good movie.
What is a movie?
Oh, so you've been dead a while.
Can you sit down?
So they sent you here, or put you here,
and your job is to scare people off?
Why is that a ghost thing? Why do ghosts do that?
It is just what we do.
That's not an answer.
I do not know.
There are spectral agents who haunt the...
Ghosts.
Spectral agents who haunt the homes,
and then there are those above the spectral agents
who assign and aid as needed.
You have a ghost supervisor?
Holy shit, Voltaire was right.
You know Voltaire?
No, no. I just...
Wait, do you know Voltaire?
I read his work.
Oh, okay.
I thought maybe you...
Do you know any famous people?
Like, are there famous ghosts?
Like, are there famous people, they die
and they become ghosts?
Like is Johnny Cash a gh...
Oh my god, is Johnny Cash a ghost?
I do not know who that is.
I have yet to recognize another agent,
but I also do not spend much time around other agents.
So he could be?
Perhaps.
Nice.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
We were talking about you.
So you came here from somewhere else,
and you don't know how long you've been here.
Are you happy here?
Yes.
Interesting.
What about it makes you happy?
It is my home.
It may not have called for me as they said
but I have been here a very long time
and I have come to know this house and love it.
From time to time, I will think that I know it fully,
and then I will see something.
A fixture or some detail so small as to have
escaped my gaze all these years,
and I am once again surprised by my home.
And in that moment, my heart is full.
Yeah, it's a nice home.
It is a gift to feel so lucky to have something,
and to know that it is lucky to have you.
They said that no one else had been able
to keep this house clear, that I was the only one,
and that is how I knew it was mine.
Hmm.
That's both the same and the opposite of what they told me.
They spoke with you?
Different they.
Who is Johnny Cash?
I may be able to look for him when I go back.
He's this awesome country singer.
He has this deep, baritone voice.
♪ I hear the train a-comin'
♪ It's comin' 'round
[Dialogue fades away]
[soft resplendent guitar music]
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey
♪ Hey, hey, hey
[Music Crescendos joyfully]
[Muriel] I do not intend to embarrass you,
but I feel that I must ask,
what are you the king of?
What?
Your garment.
Oh.
[light buzzes] Oh tha...
Really?
I did not do this.
What the...
Why is the living room purple?
Why did you send her?
I told you I had everything under control.
Wait, sent who?
In control of what? Who are you talking to?
[groaning]
Oh, god, there's another one!
Why is there an...
Why is there another one?
Why is she there?
The same reason you are. To scare him out.
I told you there was no need to summon her.
Yes you did.
And I told you that I was still going to do it.
It is my house.
And no one is taking it from you.
However, Rosie is the one at the moment
who is haunting the house and you are not.
[floor creaking] [tense, dramatic music]
[Screaming] [Jack gasps]
You should probably fix that.
Welcome back.
Wherever you keep popping off to,
can you take me with you next time?
I cannot.
Where is she?
[Monster Gasp] [Monster Wretch]
Everywhere.
Why is she here?
Are we back to not talking?
Here.
Hold on. I'll just go around a blind corner,
that'll bring her out.
[Loud monster squeal] Jesus Christ!
Why did I even jump?
I knew she was going to be there.
Pull it together, Jack.
Can you please tell me what's going on?
Why is there another one of you?
She is not like me.
Okay.
Her methods are crass.
[Monster growl] [glass shatters]
[Rosie laughs]
You afraid?
What?
Of her? No.
I mean, she made me jump, but I'm not afraid of her.
They sent her because I was unable to scare you.
But you did scare me.
Not enough to make you leave.
Well, yeah. I've got a job to do.
None of you can make me leave until my job is...
Please, do not take that as a challenge.
If I just tell them that you scared me,
will they take her away?
I am very much afraid of...
Do you have a name?
Muriel.
I am very much afraid of Muriel.
She is terrifying
and I am definitely going to leave this house
just as soon as I am done with my job.
Thank you, but that will not do anything.
Shit.
[Monster Shout] [Jack gasps]
I really do not like this.
[Rosie] Don't look behind you.
[Jack gasps]
[Monster wheezing]
[Jack yelps]
[Heavy metal music] [Monster squealing and wind]
[Noise abruptly ended]
[Muriel] You need not be here.
That's not what Ms. Henry said.
[Muriel] Ms. Henry misspoke.
You sure about that?
He seems awfully comfortable with you,
but I've barely been here half an hour,
and I've already made him almost piss himself.
[Jack] I, that's not...
You are trespassing.
This is my home, and you are not welcome in it.
Your legend is impressive,
but you're old and you need to step aside.
[Monstrous bellow] [dramatic music]
See?
He is weak, and you are an embarrassment.
[soft music]
I'll say it, I don't like her.
She's not...You're not old.
Yes, I am.
No, but I mean, you don't look old.
You know, you made me run out the door I was so afraid.
Doesn't that count for anything?
You returned.
Yeah, but that's just...
Wait, this might seem like a dumb question.
Do ghosts get scared?
Yes, we do.
Why don't we just scare her off?
You want to scare her?
Do you think you can do that?
I think you can do that, and I think I can help.
I do not know what she fears.
How'd you figure out what I fear?
I observed you.
Everyone reveals their fear in time.
So you just have to observe her.
She will only appear to scare you.
Well, that sucks for me.
You will do this?
If it gets rid of her, sure.
We need to plot.
♪ Doop-Doop-Doop
♪ Do-Doop-Doop
♪ Doop
[tense, dramatic music] [Monster screech]
- [clattering dishes] - I'll be right back.
[tense, dramatic music]
[Monstrous groaning]
[Monstrous chuckling]
No.
Bring that back! That isn't mine!
[A startling boom]
[tense, dramatic music]
[Deep crunching footsteps]
[Discordant percussive music]
[liquidy squish]
[Monstrous gurgling] [tense, dramatic music]
Why?
[Discordant violins]
[Louder squishing] [Jack yelling]
[Monsterous groans]
Stop!
Who are you? What's wrong with you?!?
[Monster bark]
Muriel!!!
[Monstrous Gurgling] [Ghostly Screeching]
You two are strong, independent women,
and you two need to go figure this out.
We are a team.
You two are a team.
Now go, because I am going to have to do
the thing that I genuinely dislike doing.
[heavy breathing] [soft, strange music]
I'm okay.
Whose blood is this?
[Faucet running]
[Pant of disbelief]
[gusty sound of something appearing]
[Ms Henry] So you're Jack.
Stand up, I want to get a look at you.
Lady, I don't know who you are,
but we're just about ghosted out around here.
We don't use that word.
Yeah, I've heard all about your special
nonsense ghost words...
I said stand. [Cavernous, commanding voice]
Who are you?
I am Ms Henry. I oversee Muriel's cases.
You're the ghost supervisor.
So are you the one who lied to her about this house?
It is my job to send agents where they're needed.
I'm not going to pretend to know how your system works,
but you lied to her.
You can't make somebody build their life on a lie.
Can't you, though?
[Rosie] I think Ms. Henry's right.
I mean, you're a legend.
I could definitely learn a lot from you.
If you could just help me out,
I just don't want to screw this up.
[Jack] Okay, you're a step up the ladder, maybe you know:
What's the point of all this?
What do you all get from scaring people out of their homes?
It's what we do.
Right, but why do you do it?
It's what we've always done.
[Muriel] These scars...
Are they indicative of your death?
- No. - Then why are they there?
I thought they'd scare people.
Why?
Guess I just thought people are afraid of scars.
Then you should do away with them.
It is a mockery to use scars that are not your own.
[Ms Henry] Has Muriel told you how she died?
She was once a singer, a long time ago.
She fell in love with a man who produced her shows
and they got married.
After a time, he fell in love with another young singer.
[Rosie] So then what is it that you do
to all these people that scares you?
[Music swells]
My greatest fear is losing myself.
[Rosie] I don't understand that at all.
When you were a child, and you first learned of colors,
what was your favorite color?
Green.
[Muriel] And when you died,
was green still your favorite color?
No. Pink.
This was not the only change of mind
you experienced through your life, correct?
I don't...
Do you have to talk that way?
[Muriel] Amidst all of these changes,
did you consider yourself to be a different person?
I don't think so.
Imagine then that someone came along and told you
that you are not yourself.
That who you think you are is a lie
that has been told you by everyone in your life.
That is what I do.
Would you like to see?
[Ms Henry] She was very good in that house,
and she was good in this house,
and for over 200 years...
she has been one of our best agents....
Until you.
Why me?
Don't know.
I've asked several of my colleagues
and no one seems to have any idea.
What about you?
Do you have a clue?
No.
When Muriel scared you out of the house,
why did you come back?
'Cause I have a job to do.
To clear out the house for new people
who Muriel will scare away.
And then you'll have to clear out their stuff
for new people who Muriel will scare away.
So let me ask you your own question:
why do you do what you do?
'Cause they pay me to.
[Ms Henry] Ah.
So money is the most important thing to you.
No.
I mean I need it to live, but I don't really care about it.
[Ms Henry] Oh, so you would do this job
if they didn't pay you?
No. [chuckles]
I don't think so.
Maybe. I do enjoy cleaning and fixing things.
It's kinda like solving a puzzle.
You finish and you look at it and you can say, "I did that."
So I guess if they provided me with a place to stay
and maybe some money so that I could afford to
get a drink or a movie or...
Actually, I don't even care about that stuff.
I don't know why I do what I do.
So if I ask you to leave this house now, you would?
[Jack] No.
Why not?
You just said it, you don't know why you're here.
No, I didn't say I don't know why I'm here.
I said I don't know why I do what I do.
[Ms Henry] So why are you here?
[heart beating]
'Cause...
Muriel's coming back.
And I want to spend more time with her.
[soft music]
Ah.
[soft string music] [heart beating]
[exhales]
[heavy breathing] [soft music]
[Jack chuckles]
[phone ringing]
Neal?
[Neal] Hey Jack, I finally heard back from the family.
They're sending someone out tomorrow to pick up their stuff.
You'll be there, right?
Yeah.
[Neal] Great. How's it all coming? You almost done?
Yeah, almost.
Hey, Neal, I...
Can I ask you a question?
[Neal] Uh yeah, s-sure.
How'd you know Annie was the one?
[Neal sighs]
[Neal] Jack...
...that is not a question you ask your boss.
I know, I just...
I don't really have anyone else to ask.
[Neal] I...
Just call me when the house is done, man.
[phone hanging up]
[soft synth music]
[Jack exhales]
You have no one.
[ominous music]
No one cares for you.
No one misses you.
No one thinks of you.
What are you doing?
You blame your suffering on others,
but the fault lies in you.
[telepathically] Some people fear failure.
Oh yeah, I know that.
I see around me.
Everybody else clearly has this whole thing figured out
on a level that I just don't understand.
I mean, I guess we're all messes in some way
but I definitely feel a little bit more broken than others.
Because you are!
Exactly.
Look at you.
You came in here and you're just immediately a superstar.
You don't even know how this shit works
and you're killin' it!
I...I know how this shit works.
What happened to your scars?
She abandoned them for they were not hers.
Fake scars?
Lame.
This isn't working.
I don't like him.
Can I destroy him now?
You said you wanted to learn, did you not?
Fine.
What does he know of scars?
He has not died.
Yeah.
- You know nothing of pain. - Oh, I beg to differ.
You think death is pain, then I think your life was soft.
You were so coddled your entire life
that you have to imagine pain.
Put on fake scars.
Trot out some shit you saw in a movie once.
You're a joke.
[Muriel] I disagree.
She died so young. Of course she knows pain.
That's true.
How'd you die?
I was on a boat with some friends,
and I got drunk and fell over.
Nobody helped you?
They were drunk, too.
Well that sucks.
I mean, I don't have any friends,
but at least I don't have friends
who'd let me die off a boat.
This isn't working.
Your whole thing isn't working.
He's not scared at all.
Oh, on the contrary, I'm pretty terrified.
Shut up!
I want to hurt him.
That is not what we do.
Why not?
Why can't it be?
I want to make him hurt.
I want to drag him upstairs and drown him in the tub.
[Muriel] What would that accomplish?
I would feel better.
That is not what this is about.
[tense, dramatic music]
Uh oh.
What if they bring in somebody even younger
than you to replace you?
This is bullshit.
You're bullshit, and you're bullshit.
I'm out of here, and you can just be BULLSHIT together!
Humility is the first step
on the path to self-actualization.
Fuck you!
Well that was fun. [laughs]
We should not have done that.
What?
Why?
I thought we agreed she needed to go.
I was supposed to work with her.
Help her.
Yeah, but only because people who don't
have your best interest at heart told you...
What makes you think you have my best interests at heart?
I...
Wait, why are you mad at me now?
I'm trying to help you.
You think you can help me? Why?
Because you're alive? Because you're a man?
What? No.
I, I didn't say you need my help,
- I said, I wanted to help you. - Do not yell at me.
This is your fault, you should have left this place.
It is not for you to help me.
You have, you have no reason to want to help...
I care about you.
A lot.
More than I've ever cared about anyone,
which is weird, 'cause you're a ghost,
which are apparently real.
So what the fuck do I know?
In fact here, here's the truth.
It's not because I want to help you.
I just wanna be with you.
You cannot.
Why?
Because that is not how things are done.
You guys are all so concerned with how things
are supposed to go.
Shit goes sideways, that's...
Ms Henry..Ms Henry told me how you died.
And I know it doesn't change anything, but I'm sorry...
that life was so cruel to you.
Mine's been pretty shitty so far,
but I think it's worse when life convinces you
that it's going to be fair and it's not.
And life isn't going to say it's sorry, so...
I will, I'm sorry.
It is not that I want you to go.
I enjoy being good at my job.
I do not always know why I do it, to what end,
but I like the doing of it.
And if you stay here, I may never recover
from the demerit I will be assessed.
[Jack] Wait, what does that mean? What demerit?
If I allow a living person to stay in this house,
I will become a shadow.
Like a literal shadow?
Shadows are ghosts?
No, that is not...
A shadow...
has no control over where it goes or what it does.
A shadow cannot say what it wants.
A shadow is nothing.
I would be nothing.
[Jack] I thought nothingness isn't an option.
No, I am not, I am not explaining this well. Um...
If you care about me as much as you say you do,
you will not make me choose you
over what I have built here.
It might not make sense to you,
and yes they are liars and they are thankless,
and maybe, as you say, what I do has no point.
Yeah, but what I do has no point
and if what I do has no point
and what you do has no point, we can at least
do pointless things together.
I was not finished.
It might not make sense to you, but it is my purpose.
It does not need to make sense to you.
I have an idea,
but I need you to do something for me.
I, uh...
I need you to say
you want me to be here.
And I know how hard it is to be alone for a long time,
and you have been very alone for a very long time.
But I just need to know...
You feel about me the way I feel about you.
I...
I am sorry.
[soft, melancholy music]
[Jack sobbing]
[the same gentle music continues]
[Muriel sobbing]
[Jack and Muriel sobbing together but apart]
[Ms Henry] What did you do to Rosie?
You will not do that again.
I do not care if it began with a lie,
that is my home, and I will oversee it.
I will continue to abide by all of the rules,
but you will not tell me who is welcome
and who is trespassing in my home.
- That... - No!
I have allowed you to make all of my decisions for me
for a long time because I was accustomed to it.
But I will not allow you to make me feel small again.
Now leave.
You are not welcome here.
[the gentle music fades away]
[birds chirping]
[gentle organ music]
♪ When I was five
♪ I tied a white ribbon
♪ Tied a white ribbon around the gate
♪ White for the blessings I shall be given
♪ Upon my wedding day
♪ Be thee good
♪ Be thee bright and fair
♪ Upon the white ribbon, pray
♪ White for a love beyond compare
♪ in your true love's strong embrace ♪
[organ music resolves]
[birds chirping]
I would like for you to stay.
[lilting music] [birds chirping]
[footsteps outside]
[car door opens] [car door closes]
[car starts up]
[lilting music]
♪ The years, the years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years, the years go by ♪
[Neal] Hi, this is Neal Rhodes
with Rhodes Property Management.
I can't come to my phone right now.
Please leave a message and I will return
your call as soon as possible.
Thanks for calling. [line beeps]
Hey Neal, this is Jack.
Um, I just wanted to call to say thank you and I'm sorry.
You've been a really good boss,
and I think you'll be a really good dad.
I know that our last couple conversations
didn't make a lot of sense.
I realize nothing really makes a lot of sense to me...
but I just go along because
nothing makes a lot of sense to me.
When you don't want anything, it's easy to let other people
tell you where you're supposed to want.
I've finally found something that
does make sense to me, that I want.
And it might not make sense to you or anybody else,
but I figure that's balance.
Anyway, I just wanted to say...
sorry for the mess.
♪ The years, the years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years, the years go by ♪
Doop-doop-doop-doop-do-do.
♪ The years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years, the years
♪ Keep on turning away from our faces
♪ The light passes over us
♪ Oh how the days, how the days keep on turning
♪ Turning away from our faces
♪ The light passes
♪ Oh how the days, how the days keep turning ♪
[lilting music gives way to a pulsing emotional anthem]
♪ The years, the years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years, the years go by
♪ The years, the years, the years
♪ Keep on turning away from our faces
♪ The light passes over us
♪ Oh how the days, how the days keep on turning
♪ Turning away from our faces
♪ The light passes, oh how the days
♪ How the days keep on turning
♪ Away from our faces
♪ The light passes over us
♪ Oh how the days, how the days keep on turning
♪ Turning away from our faces
♪ The light passes, oh how the days, how the days
♪ Keep on turning away from our faces
♪ The light passes over us
♪ How the days keep turning
[upbeat acoustic indie rock]
♪ The yellow cotton dress
♪ Is beautiful, no doubt
♪ But it becomes a motherfucker
♪ When you fill it out
♪ The pillow on your side
♪ Is practically brand new
♪ It can't offer comfort to me
♪ Until it smells of you
♪ You're everywhere
♪ The silverware you use
♪ Is on the table still
♪ Someone else will have to move it
♪ Because I never will
♪ You're everywhere
[acoustic guitar solo]
♪ You're everywhere
♪ The yellow cotton dress
♪ Is beautiful, no doubt
♪ But it becomes a motherfucker
♪ When you fill it out